On Being Left

My husband left last Sunday for a week-long official stay at their Boston headquarters. Looks like this will be the first of a many trips he will be taking as a requirement of his new post as Worldwide Safety and Environment Engineer for a semi-conductor company.

Prior to his trip, I was filled with the usual feeling of apprehension that many people feel upon presented with the idea of being left alone. But my apprehension stems from the thoughts that I keep pushing at the back of my mind. Terrorism. A freak accident. Natural disaster. Sickness. Amnesia (as a result of watching too many telenovelas). Murphy’s Law. I kept on imagining that one of these will strike my unsuspecting husband and will make his safe trip back home impossible. Silly right?

Why is it every time that someone close to us leaves us, whether temporary or permanent, we also lose our sense of security?

On people leaving, I’ve had my share.

Just this week, my good friend Ruby left our department and our floor. She now works at the 12th floor; I miss her and our silly wife and mommy conversations. We’ve got much in common - our friends, babies, and our desperation...

Read her blogs at http://www.mollys-mom.blogspot.com/.

I was blessed with great in-laws, but as everything good has its end, both of them were taken away from us last year. Tatay’s 1st year death anniversary was 27th of last month. We are still waiting for Nanay’s turn on February 3, 4 months from now. Both their deaths was a great tragedy and loss to the family, we will never be quite the same without them.

Last night, we were surprised and saddened by the news that our uncle, Nanay’s brother-in-law, passed away in Ilocos.

All my 3 younger brothers, with whom I was very close, are living and working over seas. When they left, I was filled with bitter sadness knowing that they aren’t my baby brothers anymore but, grown men looking forward to starting their own lives.

We have created a circle around us; composed of our family and a few that we consider to be good friends. And this circle defines our lives, who we are. And every time one of them leaves, a link is taken away and our circle is broken. Somehow, that link, that person, is irreplaceable. Maybe, that is why we are filled with apprehension, knowing that losing our circle means losing our very selves. What we are, what defines us.

Without our family, our friends, people that we have shared our lives with, we are nothing.