While going virtual...

Marc is sick...

i'm sure he'll get over it, but while his temperature is still up
and fit of coughs send his small frame violently shaking...
i'm beside myself with worry.

Atleast, he's not had an asthma attack (yey! to Montelukast
and Seretide and thanks! to Dra. Ninang Lanie )...that would've
been the straw that will break this horse's back!

And i only have 2 kids...how did my parents manage with 7?

If i may be allowed a moment of weakness...

April 8, 2010 is the date when i experienced my first broken heart...

the first man i loved...kissed...hugged...hated...adored...took care of...

left

although it's been years since we've been skirting the issue of goodbyes,
nothing ever prepared me to face the actual loss.

what would i give if i can be given just a minute to be with him...
to hold his hand again...tell him how much i love him, miss him.

he should never have left like that...one moment well then the next...

gone

im sorry i didn't hold your hand more, i never told you how much
i love you when things were still breezy...and how terribly i'd miss
you when your'e gone...

this is the toughest challenge of my life right now...acceptance

successes that i can't share with you
activities that we wont be doing
places that we won't be seeing

i will never forget you, 35 years we've spent together is something
that even a lifetime won't be able to erase.

"See you tomorrow" were the words that we last shared...
a promise that never happened.

I guess "See you soon" would have been more appropriate...
but who could've known?

I love you Papa...i miss you.